: Manlaws...



AlBundy
03-14-07, 06:18 PM
>Subject: Manlaws:
>
>Manlaws:
>1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
>
>2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
>
> (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
>
> (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
>
> (c) After wrecking your boss's car.
>
> (d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
>
> (e) When she is using her teeth.
>
>3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed
>and eaten by his buddies.
>
>4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out
>of jail within 12 hours.
>
>5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off
>limits forever unless you actually marry her.
>
>6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is
>forbidden.
>However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
>
>7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another
>man.
>
>In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.
>At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's
>choice.
>
>8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the
>weakest.
>
>9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask >the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
>
>10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought
>her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of
>flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
>
>11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're
>sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and
>only when it's free.
>
>12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to
>kick another guy in the nuts.
>
>13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
>
>14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
>
>15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem; you didn't see

anything.
>
>16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies
>until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as
>much as the other sports watchers.
>
>17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must
>remain sober enough to fight.
>
>18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
>pizza, but not both; that's just greedy.
>
>19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking
>about his choice of beer.
>
>20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours,
>except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
>
>21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting
>weights:
>
> (a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
>
> (b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
>
> (c) Another set and we can hit the

showers!
>
>22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:
>i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other
>situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you
>need.
>
>23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer
>than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone.
>Hang up if necessary.
>
>24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend"
>have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and
>guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the
>discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.
>
>25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for
>her to drive yours.
>
>26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green,
>orange or sky blue.
>
>27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for
>Christmas?"
>with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of
>story.
>
>28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's
>Gymnastics.
>Ever.

>
>We hope this clears up any confusion,
>
>The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd.

TomDeville
03-15-07, 12:58 AM
>Subject: Manlaws: ...
>
>17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must
>remain sober enough to fight.
>
>
>25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for
>her to drive yours.
>...
>
>The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd.

^^^^Those are my favs^^^:thumbsup:

:cool2:

nyyankeehater
03-15-07, 01:16 AM
:thumbsup: :worship: :cheers: :bows: :drink2: :usflag:

Great post!

RightTurn
03-15-07, 07:36 AM
That joke is older than you are, Al. :yawn: Now get back to the Expose the Poster thread. ahaha

:lol:

pabstcadillac
03-15-07, 02:18 PM
Too many laws for any real man to follow, that's why I'm currently working on a MANifesto. Look out peeps, I'm only a step or two away from selling off just about everything & buying a compound in rural TX or OK & broadcasting over shortwave radio. :alchi:

RightTurn
03-15-07, 09:42 PM
Too many laws for any real man to follow, that's why I'm currently working on a MANifesto. Look out peeps, I'm only a step or two away from selling off just about everything & buying a compound in rural TX or OK & broadcasting over shortwave radio. :alchi:

Sounds like a plan. :thumbsup:

:alchi:

pabstcadillac
03-15-07, 09:52 PM
Sounds like a plan. :thumbsup:

:alchi:

Thanks. FYI I could use a concubine or 8 if you're interested. I'll have to come up with some kind of application, but I think we could make this work. :highfive: :alchi:

RightTurn
03-15-07, 10:10 PM
Thanks. FYI I could use a concubine or 8 if you're interested. I'll have to come up with some kind of application, but I think we could make this work. :highfive: :alchi:

Ok, I might possibly be busy that day, but keep me in the loop. :alchi:

AlBundy
03-15-07, 10:13 PM
Womanlaw.
1. Stay away from pabstcadillac.

RightTurn
03-15-07, 10:16 PM
Womanlaw.
1. Stay away from pabsttcadillac.

But...he has a Caddy tat. :alchi:

pabstcadillac
03-15-07, 10:18 PM
Ok, I might possibly be busy that day, but keep me in the loop. :alchi:

No problemo. :alchi:

Kev
03-15-07, 10:23 PM
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask >the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
Is it OK to ask what the game is??

Oh, sorry......

http://www.cadillacforums.com/forums/attachments/eldorado-room/28766d1173928576-my-nomination-get-life-award-blonde.gif

RightTurn
03-15-07, 10:39 PM
:whatever:

AlBundy
03-16-07, 05:33 PM
Manlaws:

#29. If by chance you walk into the bathroom with another guy and there are three or more urinals there must be at least one urinal separating you. Don't stand next to a guys urinal unless it two urinals or crowded

The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd.