: Offense and Fine.



PhantomCadillac
03-06-07, 03:58 PM
This is fun to do. Just read the "offense" and if you've
done it, you owe that fine. Keep going until you've read each "offense"
and added up your total fine. When you are done, repost and Title your
bulletin
"My fine is $........" You don't have to confess your answers,
just the amount of your fine.

Smoked pot -- $10
Did acid -- $5
Ever had sex at church -- $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next
to you -- $40
Had sex with someone on MySpace -- $25
Had sex for money -- $100
Ever had sex with the a Puerto Rican -- $20
Vandalized something -- $20
Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10
Beat up someone -- $20
Been jumped -- $10
Crossed dressed -- $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Been in love with a stripper -- $20
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know -- $0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- $15
Ever drive drunk -- $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50
Used toys while having sex -- $30
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20
Went skinny dipping -- $5
Had sex in a pool -- $20
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20
Cheated on your significant other -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close
friend -- $20
Done oral -- $5
Got oral -- $5
Done / got oral in a car while it was moving -- $25
Stole something -- $10
Had sex with someone in jail -- $25
Made a nasty home video -- $15
Had a threesome -- $50
Had sex in the wild -- $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25
Went streaking -- $5
Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15
Been arrested -- $5
Spent time in jail -- $15
Peed in the pool -- $0.50
Played spin the bottle -- $5
Done something you regret -- $20
Had sex with your best friend -- $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work -- $25
Had anal sex -- $80
Lied to your mate -- $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25

Night Wolf
03-06-07, 04:34 PM
$65.50

Would pop on another $20, but I don't really regret anything cause ya learn from mistakes and move on.

DILLIGAF
03-06-07, 05:30 PM
$470.50 and I plan on adding to that tonight,mens night tonight!Barbeque,cold beer, and slap some twins around!

gary88
03-06-07, 05:32 PM
$155.50. I guess I'm good by most standards :squid:

eyekandyboats.inc
03-06-07, 05:48 PM
390 dollars.

Red_October_7000
03-06-07, 05:51 PM
$345.50! Goddamn! Well.. wait a minute! This is just an elaborate ruse to find out who's peed in the pool!

xxpinballxx
03-06-07, 06:07 PM
445.15 and thats all im saying....

xxpinballxx
03-06-07, 06:08 PM
okay I pee'd in the pool!

pimpin88
03-06-07, 06:09 PM
$80 and the rest of this is because you have to have more than four characters to post a message

Spyder
03-06-07, 06:14 PM
I guarantee I'll be WELL over 400 there...wtf?...

Ok, not sure of the EXACT count, but I'd be somewhere around 550.50

ewill3rd
03-06-07, 06:20 PM
$115.50, and that is assuming that you only get fined once per offence, and not per incident. Otherwise I'd have to do some more adding.

Does 2 hours in jail constitute as "time spent"? :D
Oh and my wife is 7 years younger than me ;)

AlBundy
03-06-07, 06:33 PM
$500 on the dott.:devil:

railven
03-06-07, 07:01 PM
Holy Cow turds after reading other's post I feel dirty and embarrassed:

$665.15

And I thought I lived a rather boring life.

BIG ERN
03-06-07, 07:22 PM
$650 10 I've had a lot of fun

eldorado99
03-06-07, 08:12 PM
$215.00, meh average I suppose.

Florian
03-06-07, 09:07 PM
405...plenty of room for more!


F

Elvis
03-06-07, 09:12 PM
Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10
Beat up someone -- $20
Beat up someone -- $20
Beat up someone -- $20
Been jumped -- $10
Been jumped -- $10
Been jumped -- $10
Been jumped -- $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
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Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
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Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
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Masturbated -- $10
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Masturbated -- $10
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Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Given money to stripper -- $25
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know -- $0.10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know -- $0.10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
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Masturbated -- $10
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Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know -- $0.10
Masturbated -- $10
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know -- $0.10
Ever drive drunk -- $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50
Used toys while having sex -- $30
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20
Cheated on your significant other -- $10 (not my wife)
Cheated on your significant other -- $10 (not my wife)
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
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Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $20
(the older sister)
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
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Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $20
(then the younger sister)
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
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Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Done oral -- $5
Got oral -- $5
Stole something -- $10
Had sex in the wild -- $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20
DEFINITELY REGRET THAT!!!
Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
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Masturbated -- $10
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Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25
Peed in the pool -- $0.50
Played spin the bottle -- $5
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
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Masturbated -- $10
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Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Done something you regret -- $20
Had sex with your best friend -- $20
Lied to your mate -- $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
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Masturbated -- $10
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Masturbated -- $10
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Masturbated -- $10
Masturbated -- $10



I'm broke!

pimpin88
03-06-07, 10:13 PM
Hahahaha, Elvis that is great. I was laughing the whole time

I~LUV~Caddys8792
03-06-07, 10:21 PM
Haha! It's like that quote in Full Metal Jacket:

Private Cowboy: Tough break for Hand Job. He was all set to get shipped out on a medical.
Private Joker: What was the matter with him?
Private Cowboy: He was jerkin' off ten times a day.
Private Eightball: No shit. At least ten times a day.
Private Cowboy: Last week he was sent down to Da Nang to see the Navy head shrinker, and the crazy ****er starts jerking off in the waiting room. Instant Section Eight. He was just waiting for his papers to clear division.

90Brougham350
03-06-07, 11:02 PM
This is great! I guess I get off relatively clean, $380.50. Damn pee in the pool!

malcolm
03-07-07, 08:42 AM
830.60,:eek: don't know wether to be proud or ashamed:tisk: . I'm either a real scumbag :alchi: or you guys don't get out much.

JimHare
03-07-07, 01:11 PM
Wonder if the "Had sex for money" means PAYING it, or GETTING PAID... could affect my total..ha ha ha...

$470...i must be a wuss... odd fines, though, dropping a lid cost's 5 bucks, but streaking in daylight is 15?... my college life woulda been a lot cheaper if I'd hung out with the druggies instead of the nut cases...lol

Spyder
03-07-07, 02:07 PM
ELVIS! The thing was for your whole life, not just the last twenty four hours. C'mon, stop cheating!!!

codewize
03-07-07, 02:21 PM
$485.50 I must be a bad ass. Elvis :rofl:

Wiseguy2
03-07-07, 03:36 PM
$765.10 I'm up there I think..... What about combining certain acts? Like umm.. well.. nevermind, I don't wanna get banned.

LittleB
03-07-07, 04:37 PM
$430.00

Spyder
03-07-07, 05:09 PM
B, you gotta tell us WHICH ones you've done!!! *grin*

LittleB
03-07-07, 05:25 PM
I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.....There are probably only 2 on there I'd rather not admit to...

Spyder
03-07-07, 08:10 PM
Whatdya wanna bet EVERY guy on here is going back to read the list. Right now.






I am.

LittleB
03-07-07, 08:28 PM
Hey whatever, you still don't know WHICH two. Unless you are really good at math and start doing some calculations :eek:

Spyder
03-08-07, 01:50 AM
My point exactly. :) Or, we can pick our two favorites and use our imagination! :)

ShadowLvr400
03-08-07, 02:24 AM
I win.... $880.50 Some should count double, for being on multiple sides of it.

ShadowLvr400
03-08-07, 07:00 PM
I killed it? Or is everyone afraid of touching me?

malcolm
03-08-07, 08:22 PM
I'm just glad there's a bigger dirtbag:eek: out there than I am.:worship:

Elvis
03-12-07, 10:40 AM
This all reminds me of a comedy routine by Father Guido Sarducci. 30 years ago.

Life is a job. You get $14.50 a day, but after you die, you have to pay for your sins. Stealing a hub cap is around $100. Masturbation is 35 cents (it doesn't seem like much, but it adds up). If there's money left when you subtract what you owe from what you've earned, you can go to heaven. If not, you have to go back to work. (Sort of like reincarnation -- many nuns are Mafia guys working it off.)

I always had this fear of getting up there at the pearly gates and being $.35 cents short.

Sinister Angel
03-12-07, 11:19 AM
I'm in class, give me a second to tally this shit up...

Sinister Angel
03-12-07, 11:25 AM
Just counting things only once... 605.10

Sinister Angel
03-12-07, 11:26 AM
I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.....There are probably only 2 on there I'd rather not admit to...

Are you single? I'm looking for a freak in the sack ;)

PhantomCadillac
07-30-09, 03:21 PM
755.60 thought this might get some more laughs 2 years later :helpless:

ejguillot
07-30-09, 03:38 PM
$520.60 is my total. Everybody, come on and update yours! What sleazy things have y'all done in the last 2 years?

ga_etc
07-30-09, 03:39 PM
$285.50 Is that good or bad? lol

Gristle Boy
07-30-09, 05:10 PM
$475.60.

Yep, I peed in da pool but I was a little kid!:nono:

tdyguy2k
07-30-09, 06:41 PM
Right now it stands at $575.50, unless there are multiple fines for the same repeated offense. If that's the case, I'll need a scientific calculator to figure it out.

Gristle Boy
07-30-09, 06:59 PM
I lost a lot of points for lack of dude on dude action. :suspect:

90Brougham350
07-30-09, 08:07 PM
Haha, my answer hasn't changed any. I must be boring. I just noticed, why is "had sex at church" on the list? Is that wrong or naughty or something?

Brian

dirt_cheap_fleetwood
07-30-09, 08:14 PM
$165.50 I need to get out more often.

Rolex
07-30-09, 09:27 PM
$350.50

Yes I've peed in the pool.

Red_October_7000
07-30-09, 10:07 PM
It's gone up to $585.50 since last time...

eyekandyboats.inc
07-30-09, 10:11 PM
i'm low at a 380.60 however i am only young... time to make more stupid decisions!

AMGoff
07-30-09, 11:58 PM
$790.60... That I can remember anyway.

ETC4ME
07-31-09, 08:19 AM
I am about $600+, but one of the offenses did not have enough people lol. How much for a foursome, lol. Me(m+f+f+f). yes I was a lucky sob!

aamusls06
07-31-09, 10:26 AM
485.10...damn, man oh well...lol

trukk
07-31-09, 02:24 PM
$470.50 and I plan on adding to that tonight,mens night tonight!Barbeque,cold beer, and slap some twins around!


HAHA....$470.60 here. Guess you'v enever kissed someone who's name you didn't know ;)

-Chris

Krashed989
08-01-09, 03:16 AM
$110.50

I need to get out more often. :p