HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions.
Due to increased levels of UV, the Feds set the minimum SPF of suncreen sold to be 175 with an increased UV-B range of 895 to 1200 nm .. up from the old 390–650 nm set in 2010.
Battery acid from electric cars is reported to have polluted another 3.7 cubic-miles of water tables in Asia.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped. ID of mother kept a secret.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
The Pacific Ocean is declared a off-limits zone after the California Seal exhausts the food supply and turns to feeding on humans.
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 11 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. Mining companies extremely disappointed as they look forward to mining the glass laden sands.
X-Pres Jimmy Carter wins 2nd Nobel Peace Prize.
France pleads for UN help after being taken over by Jamaica. No one comes forward.
Osama bin Laden is elected for the 5th time to President of the Middle East Union, composed of what once was Bahrain, Egypt, Iran, Iraq, Israel, Jordan, Kuwait, Lebanon, Pakistan, Palestinian territories, Oman, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Sudan, Syrian Arab Republic, United Arab Emirates, and Yemen.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036 and claims to have the support of the Middle East Union.
North Korea: Kim Jong-il announces the opening of an additional 14,500 State sponsored brothels to keep up with foreign demand that has far exceeded the current 3,287 licensed brothels. Unemployment is expected to drop to an all time low of 31 percent.
China announces a new State lottery. One in 1,300 will win a chance to get their implanted birth control devises deactivated.
Japan: Government outlaws the serving if seafood in restaurants and turns to other methods for proteins. People reported to be raising record numbers of sharks in home aquariums.
US Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail deliveries to twice a week. Mail pick up at the Post Office is expanded and can now be done 5 days per week, Sat to Wed, 11am to 2pm.
29-year study completed, costing $175.8 billion: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops from 268 lbs to 253 lbs.
Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year.
South American coffee crops fails for the 7th year in a row, due to Global cooling, coffee beans are now $364 / lb.
Senate still blocking drilling, barrel of oil is now $753.
Congress increases gasoline allotment to 3 gallons per week, per car. Car sales booming.
Permits to grow corn in back yards soar. Municipalities investigating ways to tax the fuel made in back yards.
Automotive SMOG testing is eased to only 3 times per year. Cars older than 2 years must continue the usual 6 SMOG tests per year routine.
Average height of NBA players is now Eight feet, three inches. Hoops raised to 15 ft.
Federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, water guns, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030 .
IRS lowers tax rate to 76 percent, minimum tax increases from 53 percent to 67 percent.
Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stones sell out last weekend's performance after the Daytona NASCAR. Ambulance and doctors discretely monitor the performers from behind the stage.
The 2029 Cadillac CTS-V breaks new track speed record at Daytona, running the straights at 322 mph. :bonkers: