M5 Driver LMAO!!!

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  • 8 Post By sgtdestruction
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2004-2007 Cadillac CTS-V General Discussion Discussion, M5 Driver LMAO!!! in Cadillac CTS-V Series Forum - 2004 - 2007; So I am cruising around a few backroads this morning, and haven't seen a car for at least 20-30 minutes. ...
  1. #1
    sgtdestruction is offline Cadillac Owners Fanatic
    Automobile(s): 2007 Silver
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Nashville, TN

    M5 Driver LMAO!!!

    So I am cruising around a few backroads this morning, and haven't seen a car for at least 20-30 minutes. I am doing about 50 or so coming up over a long hill and what do you know, I come up on an M5. I follow at a reasonable distance for a mile or so until the road flattens out. We come to a stop sign (literally in the middle of nowhere Tennessee), so I pull up next to him.

    Now, I know that he has seen me following him over the last few miles, and I thought it was pretty obvious to him as to what my car was, as I could see him continuously glancing in his rear view and side mirrors.

    So, here we are at the stop sign, I roll down my window, and he rolls down his. Nice enough guy, name is Jeff, no mods to his 2000 bimmer, and he bought it about 5 months ago. So we chatted back and forth for a few minutes and decided to have a go from the stop sign up to 60 mph.

    So, game face on, I roll up my window, put it in 1st, and wait for him to honk his horn to signal the start. 10....20...30 seconds goes by, but nothing. I glance over at Jeff, and he is fumbling with something in his car. I give him another few seconds, but he never looks back up.

    I put the V in neutral, roll down my window and lightly honk the horn. He looks over at me, rolls down his window and asks "what's up?". And this is the conversation:

    Me: "Everything ok?"
    Jeff: "yea...what's up?"
    Me: "We still want to race to 60?"
    Jeff: "What do you mean?"
    Me: ".......uh.....didn't you just say that you wanted to race to 60?"
    Jeff: "What are you talking about? I didn't say that I wanted to race!"
    Me: ".........[crickets for a full minute]......"

    So Jeff rolls up his window, looks forward and slams on the gas. He rockets across the intersection as I am scrambling to put my V in gear and punch it. So I feel like an ass, but WTH...

    I follow Jeff for about 2-3 miles, pretty much riding his bumper as we shoot up and down hills and through a few twisty's. Sure enough, we come to another stop sign. I pull up next to Jeff again, and dejavu ensues...

    Jeff rolls down his window, and is laughing his butt off. I roll down mine, and while not laughing but a little disappointed, I give him a smirk and he is the conversation:

    Me: "Pretty sneaky guy aren't you? Did you learn that in ninja training?"
    Jeff: "[still laughing]...Dude...I totally ripped your a$$! That thing is f'ing slow [as he points to the V]."
    Me: ....[crickets but now probably visibly upset]....
    Jeff: "[down to chuckles now]...you want to try again?"
    Me: "Seriously? Are you sure you understand how to race?"
    Jeff: "What do you mean? You said you were ready to go....so I went"
    Me: ...[putting the car in 1st]..."Ok...ok...lets see if we can try this again...to 60!"
    Jeff: "You sure?"
    Me: ....[looking straight forward as my window rolls up]....

    So Jeff starts reving his engine...pops the clutch and his tires light up.

    *Pause* Now, I have been practicing my launches over the past few weeks, and have gotten pretty good (at least for my standards) at launching with minimal wheel spin. Mostly this effort was started so that I don't trash my diff, but also, most morons in a race think that starting with a cloud of smoke is the way to go...*Un-Pause*

    I give the V the ol' one two and, while I heard a small amout of chirp, I launched pretty hard and was out of the blocks. Shifting to 2nd, I notice that I am about a 1/2 car length ahead of the bimmer. I hit 62(ish) mph and shift lightly into third, proud of my decent launch and that I took him. As I glance in the side mirror, I see Jeff rocket past and continue to go...

    I leisurely continue down the road for about a mile and I see Jeff waiting on the side of the road. I pull up next to him and he is off laughing again...

    Jeff: "Man...I really thought you were going to win that one! I smoked your sh!t all up and down this road!"
    Me: "sure guy....you sure did...me being in front of you up to 60 must have thrown you off..."
    Jeff: [puzzled look]..."what do you mean...I had you the whole time..."
    Me: [putting the car in 1st and pulling away from captain oblivious]...

    Seriously...wth man....lol!

  2. #2
    GDPossehl is offline Cadillac Owners Enthusiast
    Automobile(s): '04 CTS-V
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Decatur, GA

    Re: M5 Driver LMAO!!!


  3. #3
    CadzillaTN's Avatar
    CadzillaTN is offline Cadillac Owners Connoisseur
    Automobile(s): 2004 CTS-V
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Sounds like a typical bmw driver.

  4. #4
    wcryan is offline Cadillac Owners Connoisseur
    Automobile(s): 07 CTS-V Maggied
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    Aug 2009
    Escondido, CA

    Re: M5 Driver LMAO!!!

    he must have been high

  5. #5
    CancerJCC is offline Cadillac Owners Connoisseur
    Automobile(s): 04' Blown CTS-V 554rwhp 497rwtq
    Join Date
    Aug 2009

    Re: M5 Driver LMAO!!!

    Excellent story of an idiot without a clue. It reminds me of someones signature on tech that says "Leave on the second honk and deny it". LMAO noob.
    lollygagger8 and lollygagger8 like this.

  6. #6
    Skidmarcx's Avatar
    Skidmarcx is offline Cadillac Owners Fanatic
    Automobile(s): NONE!
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Phoenix, AZ

    Re: M5 Driver LMAO!!!

    Lol what a jackass...

  7. #7
    Overd0s3 is offline Cadillac Owners Fanatic
    Automobile(s): 2006 CTS-V blk/blk
    Join Date
    Dec 2009

    Re: M5 Driver LMAO!!!

    This reminds me of my friend with an auto m6 who gets beat up to 120 then I let off and he goes around saying he whooped my ass. Except the sad part is, we have done this about 5-6 times and he still doesn't get it. Daddy bought him the m6, another clueless BMW owner...

  8. #8
    JFensty's Avatar
    JFensty is offline Cadillac Owners Enthusiast
    Automobile(s): 04 Blk Cts-V
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Allentown PA
    Entire reason I don't look at buying a BMW. I like the styling but the douche bags that drive them ruin the cars rep.

  9. #9
    HAMSTAR is offline Cadillac Owners Enthusiast
    Automobile(s): 2006 CTS-V
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    Apr 2012
    Seattle, WA

    Re: M5 Driver LMAO!!!

    Whenever I meet a bimmer M driver, I always ask them what kind of engine they have, etc., just to have something to say. Invariably, they have no idea, besides sometimes being able to tell you how many cylinders.
    Overd0s3 and Overd0s3 like this.

  10. #10
    lollygagger8's Avatar
    lollygagger8 is offline Cadillac Owners Connoisseur
    Automobile(s): Platinum 2004 CTS-V
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    Apr 2008

    Re: M5 Driver LMAO!!!

    Hahhahaha....He was probably fumbling around trying to hide his dildo.

  11. #11
    Crash-Override is offline Cadillac Owners Member
    Automobile(s): 2005 Stealth Gray CTS-V
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    South Nashville

    Re: M5 Driver LMAO!!!

    This car wouldnt happen to be black or a very dark color? If so i ran into a similar instance with an older M5 on 840 not to long ago and he was acting like a fool so i decided to just leave him. When i slowed to down for my exit, i was actually getting off the exit (took him about 10 secs to catch up) he flew by and put his flashers on.

    Sounds really familiar....lol

  12. #12
    M5eater's Avatar
    M5eater is offline Cadillac Owners Connoisseur
    Automobile(s): ATS 2.0T RWD FE3
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Suffolk, VA

    Re: M5 Driver LMAO!!!

    All of the tards own E39's anymore. That's what happens when you start to depreciate into the sub 15K used car segement. E60 owners are still driven by old men that are far more interested in taking pictures of my license plate or going the speed limit rather than doing something naughty too. but I can fault them less. I would be cautious with the E60's DCT being a time bomb if I had one too.

    The only people you have a decent chance of getting a proper road race with are the E46's or E90/E92 people.
    shadybx7 and shadybx7 like this.

  13. #13
    JimmyH is offline Cadillac Owners 10000+ Posts
    Join Date
    Dec 2006

    Re: M5 Driver LMAO!!!

    we are skirting the line here (actually we are across the line) but as long as evarbody stays reasonable...

  14. #14
    lilgCTS-V is offline Cadillac Owners Enthusiast
    Automobile(s): 06CTS-V BOLT-ON,06JEEP TJ BUILT, 91 350SDL turbo(daily)
    Join Date
    Nov 2008

    Re: M5 Driver LMAO!!!

    That really just made my day ... BMW drivers Smh

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