Ah man had a parrot that used to cuss bad. One day he get frustrated and throw the parrot in the freezer to teach him a lesson. The parrot start cuss more bad ………” ah will kill you rass when I get out of here you bald ***** , then all of a sudden the parrot get quiet. The man frightened that he killed the parrot opened the freezer. The parrot walked out very calmly and said; sir, please allow me to apologize for my atrocious language and lewd behavior. I shall endeavor to ensure that nothing of the kind ever happens again. By the way, I hope you don't mind my asking but what was it that the chicken did
A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, 'Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?'
Grandma replied, 'Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh. I'm happy with my TV as my boyfriend.'
Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.
The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door and there stood Grandma's minister. The minister said, 'Hello son, is your Grandma home?'
The little boy replied, 'Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend.'
The minister fainted.